Up & Coming Author: Carolyn van Es-Vines

Carolyn’s Website: black and (A)broad

The Book: Black and (A)broad

 

Synopsis

After accepting her Dutch boyfriend’s invitation to move from sultry New Orleans, Carolyn finds herself in the land of windmills, wooden shoes and endless gray skies. As she moves away from the remnants of her tragic childhood and America’s obsession with race, she is plunged into the depths of homesickness, depression and a declaration of war on her own hair.

She travels through motherhood and a career change, and her determination is put to the test. On the way to self-discovery, she ends up finding love, soul sisters and the secret to avoiding bad hair days.

In this mid-life memoir, Carolyn writes candidly about how being mistaken for a prostitute in Austria, losing her passport in Cuba and dealing with Dutch people on their bikes (among other quirky adventures) have changed her ideas about being a black woman in the world.

black and (A)broad: Doing it in Holland to be released early 2010.

Author Interview:

More Than Wooden Shoes and Windmills:  Carolyn van Es-Vines Finds Life, Liberty and Happiness in the Netherlands

Mrs. van Es-Vines granted our readers and interview her perspective of being interracially married…Unfortunately, due to circumstances, she has declined to include photos of her family at this time…Hopefully everyone will use their imaginations and enjoy this piece in the spirit which it was given:

Where were you born?

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

What is your husband’s ethnicity?

He is Dutch

How did you meet?

At the Jefferson Hotel in Washington, DC. He had just finished the hotel school in The Hague and had taken on a position as manager of food and beverage. I was a graduate student at the University of Maryland. Some friends and I used to go to the bar at the Jefferson because one of our colleagues tended bar and would give us free drinks. That’s how I met Vinz.

And how long had you known him when you got married?

About 7 years.

When were you married?

May 2, 2003

Was this your first interracial relationship?

No.

How did you feel about interracial marriage and relationships before you were in one?

I loved the idea, especially for black women dating outside the black race. Why should race matter?

Do you feel any different about interracial marriage and relationships now?

No.

Did you face skeptics and criticism from friends and/or family about your interracial marriage?

None.

Do you recall how you first informed your friends and family of your interracial relationship and subsequent marriage?

I don’t, really. I probably just told them I was dating a man from The Netherlands. “Where?” they probably asked. I don’t think any of them were surprised when I told them I was moving to Holland with him.

What about your husband’s family —- Did you or he face any criticism from them?

The only criticism we faced was that Americans re-elected Bush!

How was it handled?

Other than politics (I was adamantly anti-Bush, as was Vinz), there was no criticism.

Have you ever felt pressure or experienced a significant difference between your non-interracial and interracial relationships?

No, but I’ve always found white men more interesting and sexy. Then again, maybe I never met the right black man!

Do you feel that there are societal criticisms and pressures concerning interracial relationships in the US and or Holland or (Netherlands)?

The only time I feel self-conscious or on edge with my husband and our mixed kids is when we’re traveling in the States. I don’t think I need to mention the criticisms…we all know those. They don’t exist in Holland (at least not to my knowledge).

Do you attribute or connect it to negative images of blacks from slavery or something else?

Yes, it started then but it’s become institutionalized in America. I don’t think that negative image of blacks will ever change.

Do you have children?

Yes, two little girls.

Does race figure into child rearing for you?

Sure it does. I’m trying to show my girls the most positive aspects of their mother’s culture. I’m teaching them to accept their mixed bodies as well as their two cultures equally. As they get older I plan to teach them black history – my way and engage them in discussions about why blacks are viewed so negatively and why we allow ourselves to live up to that negativity.

When your children first experience racism, what will be your advice will be to them?

I don’t know, to be honest. I hope I’ll remind them of all the beautiful things about themselves and explain that racism exists, why I think it exists and that they have to let it go. Don’t let other people define you.

Where do you live?

The Netherlands

Do you think The Netherlands in general is a good place for interracial couples and families?

I can’t think of a better place for interracial couples and/or families.

What made you decide to live abroad and do you have any regrets?

I wanted to pursue my relationship with my then-boyfriend. He wanted to move back home and asked me to go with him. I had nothing to lose, so I went with him. I have absolutely no regrets.

Do you work outside the home?

Yes and no. I work from home as a freelance writer, editor and translator.

What do you do for fun?

Go on dates with my husband; attend monthly gatherings with my black social networking group SisterSistah; Zumba;

Do you have any suggestions for black women just entering interracial relationships?

It would be the same as for any other relationship: communication is key. If you can’t/don’t talk about even the small things, you’re doomed to be divorced quicker than you’d like.