A buddy of mine told me of a college that had seven girls to one guy on campus; and being a young man I had to go and check it out. I am from Chicago and Vanessa is from Florida, so we met in the middle at Lee College which is now Lee University in Cleveland, TN. That was in September of 1975. She and her friends were at the tennis court and wouldn’t you know it — we started talking. I would love to give you the whole story of how I feel the Lord brought me and my soul mate together in an amazing tale; but I’d have to write a book here. I can tell you, that I was not about to let her get away. I was willing to take a chance just to see if Vanessa would like me. I won her heart. There has never ever been any reason to look back. We have been married now 29 years and soon to be 30 in June of 2009. It’s been an amazing journey. I have known Vanessa more than half of my life.
My Dad really didn’t mind, he said “You are going to live with her.” And he got along great with my wife. My Mom on the other hand was very cold towards Vanessa while dating. Vanessa never even gave it a second thought. She knew I loved and supported her no matter what. That was another thing that made me love her even more. My mother once said to my sister: “I didn’t want one of those in my family.” My sister responded: “What do you mean Ma she is a woman just like you?” I’m glad my sister spoke up when my mother said that to her. My mother was never really around Black people and all she knew were the negative images she’d seen depicted in the media. Unfortunately we lost my Mom before we got married; and she never got a chance to see her wonderful grandchildren whom I know she would have truly loved. Now, with her family at first both parents weren’t too crazy about a white man in the family. Remember that was a while back. Even though people did marry interracially, it was not as common as it is now. Vanessa’s aunt advised her mother: ”Give the boy a chance and meet him.” Ironically after they both met me, I eventually became the favorite son-in-law.
We have a daughter 28, a son 26, a daughter 23, and another daughter 16. Our children never really thought about color or race as we were always Mom and Dad. One day however, our middle daughter came home from school and said “Mom am I black?” She had heard someone at school or something. That was ironic because we never taught them to see the color in people, we taught them to see that we are individuals no matter our skin tone.
My suggestions for anyone interested in or just entering an interracial relationship is first and foremost trust in the Lord Jesus Christ because he will guide you. We put Him in middle of our relationship and it has worked for all these years. Don’t let what people say stop you or hinder you if you truly love that person love will conquer all with the Lord’s help.
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